An essay: Fad diets

Think about it…

Are “fad diets” actually worth the stress?

 

Only eating cabbage on days that end “ay”… Using a green cup for every drink you have… Standing on your head for ten minutes after every meal…

These all sound ridiculous, to put it mildly, don’t they? No one with ANY common sense or dignity would put themselves through these fad diets. Would they? During the past three weeks, I’ve been doing a sensible and manageable weight loss programme, which essentially has two aspects that I have found to be the only things that work (for me, anyway):

1.      “Eat less”… this does not mean, in any shape or form, that you should starve yourself. To me it means eating a healthy amount (1200-1500 calories, not 2500) of good food, and watching those pesky portion sizes. I love food, I really do! Some days I would’ve happily eaten a Man Vs. Food size meal, loaded with fat, bad carbs and anything else you can think of. But I was (I guess I still am, but I’m certainly working on it) fat. Obese. Corpulent, even! Christmas came and went, and I noticed how much I was hating seeing photographs of myself- and I am a poser, so this is worrying- so I knew that it was time to do something about it. This is where Weight Watchers came in. For me it’s an easy way to control what you’re eating without having to starve yourself. There are tons of great weight loss programmes designed to help, it’s all about choosing one that suits your needs and your personality. Rosemary Conley and Slimming World are two that myself or friends have had success with in the past. But the weight management side to WW Online is ideal for my lifestyle now that I have a child.

2.      “Move more”… Now, the tricky part! Not only did I like large portions of stodgy food, I also was pretty lazy when it came to exercise. It’s quite ironic really, as I always have thoroughly enjoyed exercise, and was a keen netballer with an interest in Sports Science when I was at school. Then along came the freedom of sixth form, and that all stopped. It’s surprising how quickly I’ve caught the workout bug. Three weeks in and I like to squeeze some cardio into my daily routine wherever I can; I feel a bit agitated if I don’t. This isn’t in an obsessive way, it’s in a “knowing what’s best” for my body and mind way. This means sacrifices, and for me it’s TV watching! I am not going to see my husband and son less, so I fit my exercise in around them. Some nights it means going out to the gym at 9pm, but so be it. If I want to lose weight, and improve my fitness and lifestyle, then I will have to work hard for it.

I’m yet to meet anyone who tried a “fad” diet and got long term results. If you have, by all means let me know, but seeing is believing in this case. This thought process led me to research the diet crazes that are out there (better known as the crazy diets). I’ve found a few that I’d like to share, purely for your entertainment!

Number 10: The Wine and Eggs Diet

Self-explanatory really. This diet pretty much consists of hard boiled eggs and wine for each meal. This level of preposterousness is almost beyond anything I’ve seen. It suggests that your eat 10 (yes, TEN) hard boiled eggs a day and drink ½ bottle of wine every evening. A typical day would look like this and consist of 1186 calories per day:

Lunch box

3 eggs, 1 carrot, 1 apple, 2 raisin packs and 2 multi-vitamins, Magnesium Citrate pills.

Bring 3 water bottles to work.

 

Morning 7-9 am (210 calories)

Eat 3 eggs with black pepper

Drink black coffee / tea

Drink 1/2L water

 

Mid-morning 10-11 am (73 calories)

Eat 1 carrot and one multivitamin and a magnesium citrate

Eat raisins mini snack 14 grams

Drink 1/2L water

Drink black coffee / tea

 

Lunch 12-2 pm (210 calories)

Eat 3 eggs with black pepper

Drink black coffee / tea

Drink 1/2L water

 

Afternoon 3-5 pm (113 calories)

Eat 1 apple and one multivitamin and one magnesium citrate

Eat raisins mini snack 14 grams

Drink black coffee / tea

Drink 1/2L water

 

Dinner 6-9 pm (580 calories)

Eat 4 eggs with black pepper

Drink 1/2 bottle of wine

Drink 1/2L water

Drink black coffee / tea

 

If you want to have a bit of a laugh at mankind, visit www.eggwinediet.com. It is surely humanity at it’s craziest.

Number Nine: The cookie diet

Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it? Is the cookie diet my idea of heaven, or the reason Santa looks the way he does? Neither! In a nutshell an actual doctor (shame on him) invented a diet where you eat six meal replacement cookies during the day. Siegal’s cookies amount to about 500 calories. You then have one 300 calories meal for tea/dinner. The limit on this diet is 800 calories. That’s 400 less than most weight management plans start you on. I really wouldn’t want to meet someone who has consisted on a diet of cookies for too long- temperamental and agitated will not compare here!

Number Eight: The Drinking Man’s Diet

Well, well, well! What exactly have we got here? This diet was first published in the 1960s, and not one medical professional would ever recommend it. It’s goal is somewhat ambiguous, The calorie intake for a day on this plan is almost three times the recommended amount. It recommends that you drink six alcoholic drinks (wine and cocktails) and a lot of meat, fish and cheese. I cannot understand why anyone even considered this to be a sound weight loss program. Surely all you would achieve is an almighty hangover?

Number Seven: The Joan Crawford Diet

Ever wonder why movie sirens from the Golden Era were often so skinny? The look no further than the little known Joan Crawford diet. Crawford was a very methodical woman, particularly when it came to diet and exercise. Her “diet” would consist of seven or so coffees a day and a packet of cigarettes. She would start her day at 6am with a cup of hot water, and occasionally eat a salad or a carb-free meal for lunch. This blatant lack of nutrients would not have helped her one bit in her career, although she felt that starvation was the way forward.

 

 

Number Six: The Blood Type Diet

The Blood Type Diet claims to be scientific, using the idea that each blood type has it’s own diet style to follow. If you ask me, this is more science fiction that scientific discovery. Even the website screams scam. Take a look for yourself: www.dadamo.com.

Number Five: The Lemonade Diet

Have you ever wanted to be the kind of person who would snap at everyone and totally alienate your loved ones? Then try this diet. It’s a fifty-year old craze, that even the likes of Beyoncé have tried. You ingest nothing but the drink for two weeks, and then attempt to re-introduce food, such as soup, then fruits and vegetables. The bizarre version of lemonade is made up of:

·         2 tablespoons fresh-squeezed lemon juice

·         2 tablespoons grade-B organic maple syrup

·         1/10 teaspoon cayenne pepper

·         10 ounces filtered water

Number Four: The Baby Food Diet

As a fairly new mother, who not so long ago fed her child baby food, I could not stress how much you should avoid this diet! Baby food is fine, for a baby who cannot really chew, or who doesn’t care that his food lacks any form of flavour. If you have three meals a day, you’re looking at about 500 calories. This is total madness!

Number Three: The Cigarette Diet

Ninety years ago, the idea of smoking a cigarette to lose weight (to curb your appetite, more to the point) was a novel one. It all stemmed from a marketing campaign by Lucky Strike, who had the slogan of “Reach for a Lucky instead of a sweet”. From that day onwards, women would do just that, not only starving themselves but risking their lungs. Not really my idea of a healthy lifestyle.

 

Number Two: The Grapefruit Diet

This diet is a 12-days on, 12-days off diet, but it’s still ridiculous, if you ask me. From the onset, you can see that as soon as you’re “off” the diet, you’re going to put on any weight that you have lost, so then you hop back on the fad, and the cycle starts all over again. You’d have to do this for the rest of your life. It’s not how I want to spend my days.

A sample menu:

Breakfast
1/2 Grapefruit
2 Eggs (any style)
2 Slices Bacon

Lunch
1/2 Grapefruit
Meat (any style, any amount)
Salad (any kind of dressing)

Dinner
1/2 Grapefruit
Meat (any style, any amount) (fish may be substituted for meat)
Vegetables (any green, yellow, or red vegetables cooked in butter or any seasoning)

Bed Time Snack 
1 glass tomato juice or 1 glass Skim milk

Number One: The Cabbage Soup Diet

The smell! The taste! THE SMELL! This diet is barbaric. Why would you put yourself through basically eating just cabbage soup for a week? This diet states it should not be seen as a long term fix, but if you ask me, it shouldn’t be any fix! It’s a bland lifestyle, and cabbage isn’t the friendliest on your bowls. A typical week’s eating plan looks like this:

Day One:

Fruit: Eat all of the fruit you want (except bananas). Eat only your soup and the fruit for the first day. For drinks- unsweetened teas, cranberry juice and water.

Day Two:

Vegetables: Eat until you are stuffed will all fresh, raw or cooked vegetables of your choice. Try to eat leafy green vegetables and stay away from dry beans, peas and corn. Eat all the vegetables you want along with your soup. At dinner, reward yourself with a big baked potato with butter. Do not eat fruit today.

Day Three:

Mix Days One and Two: Eat all the soup, fruits and vegetables you want. No Baked Potato.

Day Four:

Bananas and Skim Milk: Eat as many as eight bananas and drink as many glasses of skim milk as you would like on this day, along with your soup. This day is supposed to lessen your desire for sweets.

Day Five:

Beef And Tomatoes: Ten to twenty ounces of beef and up to six fresh tomatoes. Drink at least 6 to 8 glasses of water this day to wash the uric acid from your body. Eat your soup at least once this day. You may eat broiled or baked chicken instead of beef (but absolutely no skin-on chicken). If you prefer, you can substitute broiled fish for beef on one of the beef days (but not both).

Day Six:

Beef and Vegetables: Eat to your heart’s content of beef and vegetables this day. You can even have 2 or 3 steaks if you like, with leafy green vegetables. No Baked Potato. Eat your soup at least once.

Day Seven:

Brown rice, unsweetened fruit juices and vegetables: Again stuff, stuff, stuff yourself. Be sure to eat your soup at least once this day.

If you want your friends to still spend time with you, do not try this diet!

I’m in favour of weight management plans, like Weight Watchers, Slimming World, Rosemary Conley etc. I’m not a fan of stupid and dangerous fads. When you next consider starting a fad diet, please consider the pros and cons. Ask yourself if you want a quick fix, or something more long-term. Starving yourself is not the way to do, and if you know anyone, young or old, who is doing just that, then please show them this article. It's no way to life. Strive for health, not for skin and bones.

©Alison Williamson, 2014