Excuse the vulgarity of the double entendre, and get your mind out of the gutter! I am clearly referring to this quick blog before I hit the sack.
Found this evening quite hard work. Making Gingerbread Men with Noah whilst on a diet was not my greatest of plans! I shared one biscuit with Noah and the rest are downstairs waiting for the hubby to scoff them. I don't try to punish myself, honestly I don't! Don't think it helped that once Noah went to bed I was a bit bored. Home alone with very little on the tele... Can anyone suggest a good exercise or yoga DVD? Something I can do when the urge to fill my face sets in? But something relaxing. Anyway, Noah's biscuits look cute. Can you tell which one he did?!
Same as yesterday for lunch today, although I had a bag of Weight Watchers Chilli Tortilla Chips (83 calories, 2 points). They were really delicious, just don't expect them to be Dorritos.
Tea was late due to Mr Big Lass being at work. I made baked Paprika Wedges and had two tiny homemade burgers... Without a bun! It was really delicious and filling, but I could kill for some chocolate. Will try to hold off until the weekend. I think the bottle of wine may be swapped for a nice bar of Dairy Milk!
Day three of the 30 day squat challenge... 60 squats! Ouch! How the hell am I going to manage 250 by the end of it? I'm off to bed now, feeling physically full, but psychologically not. I will not give in by raiding the cupboards... Promise!
Ali xxx
January.
A new year, a new you, or so they say. I hate New Year for the false optimism and the bullshit resolutions. I feel so strongly about this for one reason. I always fail my new starts and go back to how I once was! Doesn't everyone? It's just a coincidence that I'm on a quest to shed a lot of weight at this time of year. Maybe it's because my Christmas bloat has made me uncomfortable. Who knows? But I am going to lose weight, and I thought that by publicly blogging about my journey I might stick to it more. Even if nobody reads my ramblings, they'll be out there in cyber space and I won't be able to take them back. The whole dieting industry pisses me off; skinny women who were supposedly once fat, telling you their "success" stories, or Z-list celebs trying to entice you to do their latest fad DVD (while they are, may I add, perfectly made up without an inch of flab on their tanned bodies) do not inspire or motivate me. So "what has inspired you?" I hear you cry (although I'm assuming my readership may be limited- this is a more therapeutic experience than anything). A few things, some superficial like being able to fit back into a size 14, and some more personal, like being fit enough to run around after my little toddler, Noah, who is an extremely active child!
I've struggled with my weight and fad dieting since I was about 12. That's 16 years of my life! When I was in school, I was bigger than most of my female peers. In hindsight I was only a size 12-14 when I left school, but I had been called fat- and the range of insults that come with that- for all of my time in secondary education. If you call someone a name often enough, then they come to believe it, so I believed I was fat and that it was just who I was. Being fat was just me. I'd love to have this figure now:
When I started my A Levels I discovered alcohol and parties, and basically spent until after Uni overindulging! I had a lot of fun, but I ballooned to a size 18-20, and just got stuck there for years.
In 2009, my husband and I decided to have a baby. Not an easy thing to do! I spent 15 months in denial about my weight. Surely that had nothing to do with my ability to conceive?! I knew deep down that it had everything to do with that (along with PCOS). In March 2011 I decided to do something about my weight, and joined a local "fat class". The motivation helped me and I enjoyed the exercise. It wasn't easy, but I literally worked my fat arse off! By the December of that year I was a size 12-14, and 80lb lighter! Well done me! I was so proud of myself and overjoyed with not just how I looked, but how I felt. The following month, I found out that I was pregnant! My hard work had paid off, and my little man is proof that exercise and less "bad" foods is the key to shifting the excess baggage. I cannot stress enough how much work I put in and how hard it was. But it was gratifying!
I had the wrong attitude during my pregnancy. I literally ate for two (two grown men, at that), and other than the odd swim and walking session, the exercise stopped. On went the weight that I had worked so hard to lose. At the time I didn't care. We were having a baby and life was good! Noah is now 15 months old, and my weight has yo-yo'ed a bit during this time. I've never got below a size 16 since giving birth, and although I'm still 28lb lighter than before I lost all my weight originally, I feel dreadful. Having such an active little boy has highlighted how much I need to get back to my fittest. So this year, I am going to endeavour to lose the weight once more. If anyone is reading this, stick with me, and hopefully you can help me to stay motivated. Comments wouldn't go amiss either, as I have poor will power and need all the encouragement I can get! This is me now...
If you've any tips, please share, or if you're in a similar situation to me, then maybe we can help each other along. So this blog is just a bit of a diary, where I promise to be 100% honest. I am naturally lazy, and love all food, from gourmet to the crap you can get off Just Eat. I also love to partake in the odd tipple, which does nothing for my waistline! Can you see why I might need your help?! Thanks for reading, even if it was just my Mam who did so!
Ali xx
